Leo Men: The Long History of Clown Behavior

Leo men, let’s chat. This may be difficult for you, and by the end of reading this you’ll still refuse to look at yourself critically but its OK--you are still gonna get that reality check regardless.

To be frank, this is all for fun. No bad feelings, right? Well, being a man and ruled by the Sun this may actually come across as a personal attack. I know it’s hard to see yourself outside your own ego. You may think you’re God or immune to criticism (like most men). But let’s talk about the clown tendencies. So, when I say clown I mean, goofy or trying too hard to curate a strong impression that you end up looking embarrassing. Part of me wants to lend over some sympathy, truly. Perhaps, maybe I’m jealous because you get to live so comfortably and don’t go through as much doubt processes like leo women or leo enbys. Gender matters, just like with everything else. Perhaps, I’m also disgusted that you get to do outrageous things without worrying about the fact of parading like a fool. You may even think you’re hot doing it but no, you’re a Class A fool with the big ol’ shoes and red nose.

I’ll be generous, though you aren’t the worst of the worst. I oscillate between being angry and straight up amused by the antics. Let’s talk about the constant fabrication of making yourself more interesting than you are. I’ve noticed that abundantly with leo men--whether faking accents, purchasing expensive clothes and keeping the tag on so you have some semblance of a lavish lifestyle, the overbearing confidence that inevitably makes everyone uncomfortable--the list is abound. For someone who has no problem taking up space, you sure worry a lot about how you come across. That’s the thing about the Sun: it wants to be remembered, and the central piece of everything. As a man, you just can’t seem to want to give that up. When you can’t achieve that focal point, you resort to overcompensation. Let’s not even talk about the forced sexual prowess. You don’t need to pour syrup over yourself or hold your c*ck so tightly in dick pics. I am not interested in men whatsoever but I will position myself as the straight women representative and let you know they don’t find your antics attractive. In fact, for a lot of them, they cough up a little acid reflux. You can be appetizing without protruding so uncomfortably. Trust your inner bad bitch without worrying about to be the ideal and perfect man, because I’ll be honest, a lot of you don’t even reach the minimum standard.

If you need a media visual of your archetype, look no further but Latrell Spencer from White Chicks. Absolutely goofy, obnoxiously goofy, ASTRONOMICALLY goofy. And yes, we aren’t laughing with you but at you. Remember, authentic confidence is hot and for you, doubt is manifested as wanting to up your game in response to lacking in another. If you want to be hot then do some inner healing, seek a therapist, be critical of your shitty behavior and actually do something about it rather than trying to hide behind exuberance and price tags. We know your tax bracket, stop fooling the masses.

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tess lee